Monday, February 12, 2007


Someone asked me yesterday what kind of reactions we've received about the adoptions. After our son had a "melt-down" in Walmart last night, I thought I'd post a few comments from other adoptive families about the truths within a family regarding adopted or biological children.

"Even in the same family, individual personalities make all the difference. There is no way to know what your situation will be like. Some kids find life in America is not what they thought it would be and have a really hard time adjusting to parental authority. Some have thankful hearts and are just glad to be in a family.

In looking back, I can clearly see that God's call to this ministry was not only about the children, but what He would do in the rest of our hearts as we all learn to love unconditionally as He loves we learn to sacrifice as He sacrificed for us. If we never come around to being "one big happy family", we have been challenged to walk a lot of Biblical teaching that used to be just talk. Our faith has grown bigger and more firm. It's worth all the struggles.

Just be obedient and leave the rest to God. Remember....there ain't no testimony without a trial! There isn't anything you can say that will make a person understand the 'foolish things that only the Lord can make confound the wise".

Where the Lord's work is, there WILL be tribulation and trials. Where the Lord's work is there will be wonderful moments and down right hard ones. It's what produces the growth He wants in you, and it will be what defines you as HIS child. Your life will not be like any others, your children will not be just like any others. You can only stand firm on the promises He makes, and whether or not He has called you to this. By obedience and faith we step forward, one day at a time.

We just pray each time we get pregnant that the Lord strengthen us for whatever the needs of our new little life are. The same held true for our adopted children. There will be needs, and God can and will give you the wisdom to handle them.

I do see how God has been glorified in each step we take, and how the people watching can only say "By God's grace and mercy can this family do what they are doing.

Every child is different. Some struggle with behavior, attachment problems, etc and others blend into the family as if they have always been there. It is impossible to really know until the child is in your home. You have to be educated and prepared for the worst while hoping and praying for the best. It is important to realize that there probably will be at least some issues with any child. Being adopted, brought to a new culture and country, etc are all very big changes and few children will not struggle at least a little bit with the experience. Does that mean you shouldn't adopt? Absolutely not! If God is calling you to adopt then He will give you the strength, wisdom, discernment and energy to parent the children that He gives you. That doesn't mean that it will be easy, but it means you can do it and that you can bring glory to God through it.

We have encountered some of the same types of comments and concerns from friends/family. You won't be able to convince all of the nay-sayers, but you also don't have to. Often God calls us to things that don't make sense to other people. There is a verse in 2nd Corinthians that comes to mind ( Chapter 5:13-14). Here it is in the New Living Translation: "If it seems that we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Whatever we do, it is because Christ's love controls us". Some people will think you are crazy - even people you love and respect like your family, your pastor, other church members, etc. But,
if God is calling you to adopt then this is part of His plan for your life and He will bless you for it."

These are just some of the truths that we know exist within any family. Overall, the reactions we have received have been positive. Although, we have also received negative comments and reactions- some from friends and even from family members. Hubby and I keep our eyes on the Lord and his plan for our family. We try to keep in mind the "big picture" and don't let the "nay-sayers" weaken us... even if the hurtful comments come from family members.

We continue to try and stay humble, making sure we are learning the absolute truths about family life and stay conscious of the "rose-colored glasses syndrom."

As for our son's meltdown in Walmart, at times like those I just have to smile and think- "I'm a momma and this comes with the job!"

I've shared many lyrics of songs here, they sure ring true in my heart. Here's a song that is "ringing true" today as I talk about truths:

My times are in your hands, I know I’ll never understand but I’ll trust in you. Sometimes my heart grows cold, I’m sorry when I take control- how I’m needing you. Even when I fall, you help me stand. Even when I’m lost- you take my hand. I will hold on, I will hold on, I will hold on- yes, I will trust in you.

My life is in your hands, you hold the key to who I am. And I’ll trust in you. Sometimes my heart is stone, I’m sorry when I walk alone- how I’m needing you! Even when I fall, you help me stand. Even when I’m lost, you take my hand!

I will hold on- I will hold on- I will hold on, yes I will trust in you. And I will hold on- I will hold on- I will hold on…

Even when I fall, you help me stand. Even when I’m lost, you take my hand! I will hold on- I will hold on- I will hold on…

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