Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Oh my...

Do you ever read something and think, 'Oh my, this is exactly for me- this is exactly my situation!'?? Well, I read this post the other day on an adoptive mom's blog. I have been following her blog since she brought her Liberian children home. We had some similarities and some differences in our adoption journey-I was always curious how things were going with them. Her Liberian children were quite a bit younger than ours, I wondered if there would be any similarities in cultural or adjustment issues.

If you've been following our blog for any time, you know that our 2 oldest Liberian children don't live with us. Since the beginning, we have had a special place in our heart for all 4 Liberian children and we've all gone through growth, struggles and disappointments. It's taken us (as parents) some time to work through certain feelings/issues. I've continually asked God why some things have happened the way they did. I've wondered a lot about His will for us and I've prayed for discernment.

He revealed it to me through this precious Mom's words. Here's just a bit of what she so candidly wrote:

'Had we completely missed God’s call? Had we made a mistake when we brought her home? Sometimes God puts us on a path and we start walking. We are in God’s will and we are where He wants us. We look forward and we think we know where the path will go. But, as time goes on the path begins to twist and turn and it ends up taking us somewhere that we never imagined it would. Does that mean that we were on the wrong path or that we weren’t in God’s will? No. It just means that God didn’t show us the whole path when we started out.

I wish that I could say that if I’d known everything when we started that I would have gone forward. That if I had seen all the hurt, all the confusion, all the condemnation we’ve received from others, that I would have said “Yes, Lord! Sign me up for that!” But that’s not true. If I’d had any idea how hard all of this would be, I never would have done it. But, my Jesus knew that and so He only showed me a little bit at a time, leading me by the hand and helping me go forward even when the path grew rocky and I couldn’t see what lay ahead.

I’m glad that He did that. Because He did, one more child has a family tonight. That is an amazing blessing. She has a hope and a future when just a few years ago her life was nothing but broken pieces. I thank God for that and I am even coming to a place where I can thank Him for letting me be a part of it. I will always have a special place in my heart for her and I am thankful that I got the chance to be her mom, if only for a short time.' I was crying buckets when I read this because I have struggled with this for so long! Thank you, 'Candid-Mama', for writing this and for being so honest. You helped another Adoptive Mom in more ways than you will ever know.

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