So- what do you do when someone says something to intentionally hurt you? How about when someone says something to intentionally hurt your child? How do you react? Are you a 'mama bear' and stop at nothing to protect your child or do you allow him/her to endure the momentary pain of the moment and use it as a teaching tool?
I am experiencing this today, with one of our Liberian children. At the moment, I feel so helpless and I so want to be the 'momma bear' that swoops in and protects in the face of it all. I cannot- I would, but it isn't even possible. It feels so insignificant when I say, "You know those statements are not true, sweetheart, that person is lying and trying to hurt your heart." What do you say when your child is absolutely broken hearted? I couldn't say anything...I cried. I could only say, "I am so sorry you have to endure this- I am so sorry!" It was the first time I have shown any 'weakness' to our Liberian children, I think our son was taken by surprise.
I remind myself of all the promises God has made- and even at times like these, He is ultimately in control. I also remind myself there is a time and a season for all things. My human side surfaces and I say to God, "Haven't these children suffered enough? Give me their suffering- spare them!" I know there is a reason for everything and God has His plan for this situation... my flesh is so weak today and I struggle and weep at the thought of being without our Liberian children even one more day. My mother's heart aches...
Through all this, I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and this blessing of motherhood he has bestowed upon me. I am grateful that I have the heart for these children and that even though it is painful, I can feel their sorrows. These feelings help me to understand just a hint of what our children have endured over the last 10 years and helps me to pray even more fervently for them.
2 comments:
oh, becky, i'm so sorry.
i'm reminded of what lisa burley said on brandy's post about her adoption of blessing. she asked how that made her think of how Jesus talked of our adoption by him. wow. i know it doesn't ease your pain in this moment, but maybe it will make His love for you and for them more real. how He hurts for us and wants to take away our pain but has to let us endure for a time. please know that i know that i have never been where you are and feel free to ignore and even put me in my place for speaking on something i don't know (it's like when childless people tell me how to parent 4 small children!) - i just thought it might be of encouragement in this such hard time. i love you, and am praying for you and all your children - even now at this very moment.
We are currently struggling with a child being mean to our children...and we don't know what to do...I am sure it is hard that to hear the struggles when they are so far away. I don't have any advice for you, but I do understand. It is heartbreaking to ever hear of someone being mean to your precious child...you just want to take away the pain, but yet, we can't just do that, we have to learn to guide them in the right way to deal with it. All I know is to pray!
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