So- what do you do when someone says something to intentionally hurt you? How about when someone says something to intentionally hurt your child? How do you react? Are you a 'mama bear' and stop at nothing to protect your child or do you allow him/her to endure the momentary pain of the moment and use it as a teaching tool?
I am experiencing this today, with one of our Liberian children. At the moment, I feel so helpless and I so want to be the 'momma bear' that swoops in and protects in the face of it all. I cannot- I would, but it isn't even possible. It feels so insignificant when I say, "You know those statements are not true, sweetheart, that person is lying and trying to hurt your heart." What do you say when your child is absolutely broken hearted? I couldn't say anything...I cried. I could only say, "I am so sorry you have to endure this- I am so sorry!" It was the first time I have shown any 'weakness' to our Liberian children, I think our son was taken by surprise.
I remind myself of all the promises God has made- and even at times like these, He is ultimately in control. I also remind myself there is a time and a season for all things. My human side surfaces and I say to God, "Haven't these children suffered enough? Give me their suffering- spare them!" I know there is a reason for everything and God has His plan for this situation... my flesh is so weak today and I struggle and weep at the thought of being without our Liberian children even one more day. My mother's heart aches...
Through all this, I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and this blessing of motherhood he has bestowed upon me. I am grateful that I have the heart for these children and that even though it is painful, I can feel their sorrows. These feelings help me to understand just a hint of what our children have endured over the last 10 years and helps me to pray even more fervently for them.