Photography skills...

Well, this is about the extent of my photography skills- frankly, I surprised myself! My dresser doubles as the changing table, and as I was changing our little angel baby I thought to take a picture in the new outfit grandma sent. As I stood there thinking about the best angle to take the picture...I noticed her looking in the mirror at me. Then I thought about taking a picture in the mirror....pure 'genius' on my part! hehe Anyway, I thought it turned out pretty cool so I wanted to share. Have a great week!

New pics

Our little angel baby has decided she doesn't like sleeping it the cradle (that fit so nicely beside our bed!). So, I got out the crib and started to assemble it- hoping she would sleep better in the 'big girl' bed. After attaching the last side, I realized I had gotten myself stuck inside the crib- not that there was any room to sit outside the crib (our bed is only about 12 inches away!). Angel baby has slept awesome the last two nights, seems the bed switch made a big difference.

Sleeping on daddy...

Our good friend, Mr. E, came to have dinner with us yesterday. He, and his two children, brought two of their horses so our kids could have a ride. Here's Princess with her turn.

Another one of Princess and Mr. E's daughter.

Here's DD#3 with her turn riding Chris, the horse.

DD#2 taking her turn, she wasn't so sure about the whole 'horse riding' experience...

You can barely see DS#2 riding behind Mr. E's son. This horse is named Skipper.


DS#3 hanging on tight!

DD#1 with her turn. She was hanging on for dear life!

The last ride of the day. Everyone was trying to squeeze in just one last turn!

DS#2 this morning on his first day back to (public) school.

DD#1 this morning, on her way back to (public) school.


DD#2 this morning, heading back to (public) school.

A little sweetness for today

10 toes...

10 perfect little fingers...

Lil' Miss Pink...


All of our boy baby stuff bagged up and ready to be taken to Little Rock. My very good friend just received her first foster child today...the 'sweet one' is a 6 week old baby boy. What a better place than for all our stuff to be given?...I was having an emotional time going through it all- but knowing it goes to her for her little guy makes me feel a lot better! Who knew giving baby stuff away would be so hard and feel so final?

Finally....a family picture!

We finally got a picture of our crew! Here we are...all 10 of us!

Here's 'princess' with our little angel!

And big brother...


And just one of the 4 big sisters!

One week & 1/2 of a pound

Here's our little Angel Baby at a week old. She had her well baby check up and gained 1/2 a pound already! She fits in well...even at a week old, she LOVES food!

8 days old, sleeping in the swing.
Hubby and the older girls started Tae-kwondo this week. The little boys had their class first and then everyone else joined in for the next class, the Family Night class. I think it's cute that the little boys are a higher rank than their daddy!

Princess was so upset that she didn't have a uniform. The instructor was so nice and said that if she stopped crying she could have a uniform. Princess immediately stopped and said, "Thank you, maam." I guess she's been listening to the classes when the students answer the instructor with "Yes Maam!" Too cute...

This-n-That

Well, I didn't get pictures yesterday like I hoped...I forgot at church, my camera never left the bag (would have been a great opportunity to get a family pic)! Because of the weather, we stayed inside yesterday. I rested mostly with baby while hubby played endless games of Monopoly with the older 6 children. I don't know that he was playing exactly by the rules- there seemed to be a lot of 'deal making' going on. They were all having fun though, and learning how to count/exchange money. The weather has been "Africa Hot" lately with yesterday being 104 in the shade. That's not the heat index or humidity added in. The Liberian kids now compare the weather and they tell us if it's "Africa Hot" outside. They have determined that, yes, it's "Africa Hot" and they love the fact that we can stay inside and it's cool.

The 3 older children were occupied today (and all were somewhere different) so I took the 5 little ones to Walmart to finish up the school shopping. Thank goodness I started over a month ago and have done a little here and there! This year we have 1 child in a private school, 3 in public school and 2 home schooled. Each one needed different things (I had school supply lists for 4 kids) and everyone got a new pair of shoes- including Princess (our 'almost' 3 year old). While shopping in LR-and in labor!-I visited Old Navy and got some great deals. I was able to get 2 outfits each for 6 kids and then Hubby and I each got two shirts.

This is what baby has been doing since 9:30am (it's now 12:30pm). I never thought she would have made it all the way through Walmart and then back home again before waking up. She's still sleeping and I'm thrilled! Thank you, God- I'm so happy to have an 'easy' baby! I'm praying she stays this way!!


She's a little jaundiced but not nearly as bad as some of the other kids have been at 5 days old. Her newborn 'puffiness' is gone and we can see her features a lot better, she looks just like her other siblings when they were born. A friend of mine commented on how she looks so much like her daddy. All the kids have looked like daddy from day 1! I just wait a few years and see if any of my features show up in any of them...they have shown up eventually!

The "middles" are all occupied at the moment working on projects and enjoying some of their new school supplies. I'm off to eat some lunch and then get Princess down for a nap. Princess picked out Dora shoes and a Dora activity set for her school stuff. She's happily playing for the moment- I have a feeling she won't be too happy when I mention the word 'nap.' That's one of my favorite times of the day! Wish I could be sleeping...

Have a great day!

It's a girl!

Just before changing into my gown and hopping into the hospital bed to get connected to all the monitors... my face is pink in this pic because it was over 100 degrees outside! I was so hot by the time I got to the hospital!

Mad baby! This was moments after delivery and we found out she was a girl!

Full tummy-happy, sleeping baby... we were waiting for daddy to come and pick us up from the hospital and bring us home.

Everything went well, I actually went into labor on my own after seeing the doctor on Wednesday morning. I stayed in Little Rock and 'walked around' (shopped!) until my contractions were consistent. I checked into the hospital around 1pm and called Hubby to come and meet me up there. My contractions stalled a little and the staff started some pitocin around 4:30pm and the doc broke my water around 5pm. Little Miss was born at 8:47pm weighing 7 lbs. 14 oz, 20 3/4" long.

We came home 24 1/2 hours after delivery (I was MORE than ready) and arrived home by 11:15pm. Today is my first day home with the baby and the kids are all so excited. I keep reminding them that she's not going anywhere and they'll all have plenty of time with her (to hold her, etc). They're all very happy to have another sister, hubby can't resist picking on the big kids for being so certain she was a boy.... hehe

She's a good baby. If her belly is full, she sleeps for a few hours (more than our other babies ever did!) and is generally quiet most of the time. Hopefully this weekend I can get pictures of all the children holding her and some more close-ups for you all to see.

Have a great weekend!

"Mom, I don't like Walmart....."

Today our 2 oldest girls said to me, "Mom, I don't like Walmart." They are forever bothering me to go shopping at Walmart and I try to go only once a month. I shop at other stores for groceries, thus saving TONS on our grocery bills. My trip to Walmart usually is for things I can get only there and not at the other stores. The kids think it's a blast to walk through there as I shop but they badger me to no end. They know I'm not buying anything but they ask anyway....they even bring their hard earned money and try to buy things for more than what they have- yea, I know, typical kid stuff.....

Anyway, the girls have saved enough that they wanted to get some posters. High School Musical and Hanna Montana are huge around here so of course, those are the posters they wanted. I told them if that's what they chose to spend their money on- that was their decision. We left earlier than normal for DD#3's dance class so we could go to Walmart before-hand.

Come to find out each poster was $4.50 and the big girls wanted 3 each. They got to the register and didn't even have enough for 2 posters. They had to learn the lesson of putting something back and then 'borrowing' from mom to pay their bill. This was also the 3rd or 4th lesson in paying tax. We got in the car and the older girls were somewhat exasperated. They looked at their two posters and then proceeded to tell me that they don't like Walmart anymore because it costs too much money to shop there. They didn't have any money left and were in the negative!

A few weeks ago the kids also each begged me for a disposable camera. I spent the money and as I gave them each one, I told them they must pay half for the developing. That took the wind out of their sails. I dropped off two of the cameras today and you could see the wheels spinning. They were thinking about the cost of their posters and now they would have to pay another few dollars to develop their pictures...

We got home and they went into their 'stash' and paid me what they each owed me for the posters. Hubby came home and they told him right away that they won't be shopping again at Walmart anytime soon. I followed those statements with this reply, "I don't like spending all our money at Walmart either- so stop asking me to go there all the time!" I laughed hysterically- they didn't. I think they're beginning to understand....

Humble vs. Pride

The Noah's Webster 1828 dictionary defines the two words as this:

PRIDE: to pride one's self; to indulge pride; to value one's self; to gratify self-esteem (prideful: full of pride; insolent; scornful).

HUMBLE: to make humble, to abase the pride of; to reduce arrogance and self-dependence; to make meek and submissive to the divine will.


Last night during a simple game of checkers, one of our children set into motion the learning of a very important life lesson- without even knowing it. What began as a fun game turned into a lesson in pride for the entire family. We've been talking a lot about the importance of 'saying what you mean and meaning what you say.'

This particular child made a statement and then later refused to follow through. The statement alone wasn't important at all, it was the refusal and sheer disobedience that was shown. Proverbs 13:10 says, "By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the well-advised is wisdom."
Proverbs 29: 23 says, " A man's pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor."

Hubby and I explained to this child, many times, that because of his/her actions the game turned from fun to not-so-fun. The child fought and fought and fought....making it obvious that pride was the issue. Even though the experience wasn't delightful to watch, the other children in the family learned something very valuable. We, as parents, were not mean but were firm in our parenting (and taught this lesson with love)- they all understood that pride is not a good trait and that it doesn't get one very far. One of the older children sat right on the couch and 'confessed' to us that sometimes he/she has pride and it's not a good thing. That was a HUGE moment because even though we all knew it, the breakthrough was that this particular child confessed it on his/her own. And this child also confessed that he/she doesn't desire to have a prideful heart like that...

After the 'event' was over and the child finally 'followed through,' everyone went on a walk together and rode bikes as Hubby pushed our smallest one in the stroller. The night ended well and we were able spend some more good family time together.... and a very important lesson was learned by all.

Too good to pass up

Have you ever seen something that you just couldn't pass up? Of course you have....this is something my dad sent me today and I just loved it- I had to share! My grandparents lived through the Great Depression and this cute, little grandma reminds me of my grandparents. There's always something we can learn from generations past. And of course, it has to do with cooking so it's right up my alley! I could actually feed our crew these meals- cheaply! I hope you get a little nugget of joy out of these videos just as I did.

End of Pregnancy

I read this article this morning:

End of Pregnancy
As my pregnancy comes to an end, I'm often feeling uncomfortable. It's easy to fall into the world's comments and think, "This is just torture. Woe is me." I get comments about how big I am, how big this little one is going to be, how "brave" I am to have 5 children (I just received such comments like that yesterday). They aren't comments to encourage or uplift but to get a little snicker out of me because I want to be a Mother.

I sit here this morning, and I begin my time of quiet with God, ACTS-Adoration, Confession, Thankfulness, and Supplication. I find that motherhood and the capacity for life within falls into every category.

As I closed my prayer this morning, my little baby moved. Not the foot in your ribs kind of move, but a gentle little wiggle of his legs and his hands. It reminds me of how precious life is. In a few days it will be one year since we lost our little one. My heart still grieves and I find myself stricken with pain and fear at times. I immediately ask God to take that away, for He is not a God of fear, but a God of compassion and loving-kindness. (Jonah 4:2 and Exodus 34:6-7)

Are you nearing the end of your pregnancy and feeling very uncomfortable? Remember that the blessing of movement in your womb is like no other blessing from God. How gracious He is to give us life within. How gracious He is to have given us Jesus so we can have life more abundantly! Don't fall into the trap of the world that wants to make us think that this is supposed to be hard on us. Be honored that life grows within you and that you will have the privilege of pushing your precious babe into the world so very soon.

ADORATION- I simply ADORE the God that created me, and created life within me!

CONFESSION- I confess at times I wonder why the end tends to be so difficult with breathing, swelling and bladder,etc.

THANKFULNESS- I'm so thankful that He has allowed life to grow in my womb once again!

SUPPLICATION- I pray for a healthy birth, a healthy baby, and that my little baby will come to know Him as well.


I couldn't have said it better myself.....

Recognized again

I mentioned in a previous post how I often thought about if people recognized our family as we moved around town doing our every day errands, etc. On Tuesday, as I brought the little boys to karate, a nurse from the clinic called my cellphone. She called to tell me that the Liberian kids need another round of meds for certain lingering bacteria they've been dealing with.... but before she told me what each child needed- we had about a 10 minute conversation. I don't know her, but she (as well as many people working in the clinic) knows our family very well. That just reaffirmed to me that as God gives us certain jobs or ministries, we should be thinking of that at all times. Yes, we are human and we often mess up but as people approach me- I be sure to tell them that we are just like everyone else and are trying our best- we are FAR from perfect people or parents!

I was left thinking about my actions, tone of voice, posture and if I leave people with a word of encouragement as I walk away from our brief encounters. That's really my number one job, right? To show Jesus' love and compassion to others and encourage them!!

Today when we were at the summer reading program at the library (I had just 6 of our children along)- we were recognized again. I had a lovely conversation with one of the women who works there and she commented on how she's kept track of our family through the newspaper articles. Just one more example of the awesome ministry God has given our family. Because of our story (and just the sheer number of children we have!), we are more likely to be recognized by people we don't know. Remember when I posted on the woman at Taco Bell?? Exactly... There was also a woman at the library who knew my Liberian girls- I don't know her but she knows about us. As the mother of these children, I have a very special responsibility not only in raising them every day but also how I teach them to respond to each other and to others. It is true that they are watching me 100% of the time...

Back to the thought (and previous post) I had about shepherding our children... what a privilege God has given me.

Thank you, Father, for seeing the potential in me and trusting me to mother these children. I promise to do my best and try every day to carry out your will and not my own. Please fix anything within me so I can be a vessel to carry out your work. In Jesus name, Amen!

Finding Rest

I've had it on my heart for a long time to post about this song. If you've read any of my previous posts, you've noticed that songs speak a lot to my heart. This song rings true in my heart and speaks so much to me every time I hear it. It reminds me that every day I begin with a battle in front of me- a battle between good and evil- a battle between my flesh and my soul. Some days are harder than others but this song reminds me that even in those tough moments, Jesus is there. He understands. This songs shows how human we really are and how much we need Jesus. It shows that we can truly find peace and rest in His arms. He is the truth, the way and the light. He will show us the way, all we have to do is ask. AMEN!




East to West-Casting Crowns

Here I am Lord and I’m drowning
In Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know You’ve cast my sin as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before You now
As though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the East is from the West?
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the East is from the West?
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
Cause You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I know You’ve washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
And I’m not holding onto You
But You’re holding onto me
You’re holding onto me

Jesus, You know just how far the East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest (mercy I find rest)
You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

(Just how far, the East is from the West, Just how far)
From one scarred hand to the other
(You know just how far, the East is from the West, Just how far)
From one scarred hand to the other

This is it!

This is it~ the day we've all been waiting for! I pray that in about 2 hours time I can bring this blog 'live' for all to see. I'm waiting for Hubby to hit U.S. soil & call to tell me they've touched down- safe and sound. It won't be until tonight that they will arrive to our local airport (8 hours left until our union!)- I'll be happy though when he calls and says they've all made it to the good ole' USA. As soon as that phone rings, I'm going to go backwards and post everything I've written about this journey.

Seems we keep getting thrown curve balls- and it doesn't seem to be over yet. Yesterday, about the time hubby was supposed to be leaving Liberia, I got a frantic phone call. Hubby was on the other end telling me the airline couldn't find one of our children's flight reservation. He said they were boarding the plane and were holding it for a short time while they searched for the missing reservation. Hubby was upset, I was upset- "How much more do we have to endure," I thought?

I scrambled to find our credit card, thinking we may have to buy another ticket just for him to make the flight out- Hubby wanted on that flight! The phone he was borrowing (some kind man in the airport loaned him a cellphone to call me) ran out of minutes and we lost each other. I called hubby's parents for a second credit card just in case there was a problem with ours... I was ready for anything.... I tried to call the cell phone number back and couldn't get through...

I tried 4 times and finally the man answered. I said, "Hello, my husband just used your phone at the airport, is he near you that I could speak with him?" The man asked me to wait a moment and I could hear him running. Finally he said, "Here, it's your wife on the line." I heard hubby's voice again and I could hear genuine despair. We waited in silence for minutes as hubby waited at the ticket counter for them to find our child's reservation or issue a new ticket. I prayed. Hubby prayed.

In a moment- I heard hubby say, "Praise God! We're on the jet plane, they found it, we're on the plane!" I told him I loved him, hubby said he loved me & our connection was gone.

I've been sitting here now for almost 24 hours, praying that the flight out of Liberia went well and the connecting flight into the U.S. went well. I haven't heard from him- I'm waiting for the phone to ring...waiting to hear his voice that everything and everyone is ok.

My faith has been pushed to the edge, my nerves have been stretched thin- I discovered this morning that I have lost 10 pounds in the last 2 weeks. I've tried to rest knowing that the real 'show' starts today. I know that hubby will be exhausted and I'll have to 'pick up the ball and run with it' once everyone is home. I had grand ambitions of doing tons of projects during the last two weeks and about half of them are completed. I rested every day- mostly because I was exhausted and didn't have a choice. I've gone to bed early and let my body rest even if I was awake and my mind was racing. I've prayed more in the last two weeks than at any point in my life or during this journey. I've woken up and realized I was praying in my sleep many times throughout the last 2 weeks.

It's lunch time now and I'm going to fix some food for the little ones. My stomach is tied in knots with butterflies flitting all around. I will try to eat a little again tonight before we leave for the airport. I'm counting the hours...this is a milestone, a BIG milestone in our lives. Our wedding day was big, the birth of all 3 children was big & now we are officially mama and daddy to 4 more blessings. What an awesome gift, what a miracle, what an answer to prayer!

I hope to be back tomorrow with a picture or two from the airport union! I can't wait to see hubby, I miss him horribly. He is truly my other half, without him I have been lost. I love you, sweetheart!

Please go backwards

Just to be sure you catch everything, please 'go backwards' in the posts to see what you've missed since we shut down the blog a few months ago. I'm currently going through every post ever written and re-posting them for everyone to see. Some posts are being edited slightly, some sensitive material has been removed...but none the less, I'm bringing back all the important stuff. Please check back now and again as this process will take me a few days-~there's lots of posts to re-read!

Here is a picture of the morning hubby left for Liberia. Dear Son #3 wasn't very happy (as I'm sure you can see in the photo). This was our last moments of being a family of 5~ our lives are now changed forever! I can't wait to come back in a few days and post a picture of ALL of us for you to see- our new family of 9!



Also, this is a picture of Halloween. I took the 3 children to our church where we went on a hayride and went door to door, trick-or-treating. We have two 'farmer girls' and one pirate. What you can't see is that both girls have on pink cowgirl boots. Daddy is gonna laugh when he sees this picture. It's the day after he left for Liberia...

Liberia update

I am so excited to bring this blog back 'live' in only 2 short days! I just heard from Hubby- he has our children's 4 visas in hand at this exact moment! PRAISE GOD!!!

All went well & he has all the documents he needs to bring back here to the states- all passports, visas & airplane reservations. Now hubby and the kids are headed to the street vendors/market to purchase some African clothes for everyone (us included!) and hopefully buy an African drum/djembe.

I'm walking around here like a zombie this morning. I have no idea what to do first. My mind is just racing- jumping from one thing to the next. I can't keep a thought in my head for more than a minute. There are a few things I need to do before everyone gets home on Saturday night- more laundry to finish and put away, clean all the bathrooms again, make 5 more loaves of bread, finish the boys duvet covers for the bunkbeds, etc. I have plenty of time to do this...but for some reason I feel so overwhelmed & can't even think of a starting point. The most important thing is that hubby gets home safely with the kids- the laundry will wait, the duvet covers will wait, the bathrooms can get cleaned again after everyone is home & the bread can be made as we need it instead of ahead of time.

I've been focusing on resting the entire time hubby has been gone. I have been physically exhausted since the day after he left. I'm lucky to make it to 10pm most nights- I'm usually a night owl and can go to midnight/1am with no problems! I've been going to bed early every night and have been taking short naps most days when the baby lays down. I think I've narrowed it down to being emotionally exhausted- and I'm not the one in Liberia! :)

Ok...off to start some of these chores so I can get some stuff done before lunch. My energy starts to dwindle in the afternoon hours. Two more days and counting...

Our 'new' family motto

As I spoke with hubby in Liberia yesterday, he was telling me the events of the day. He said a certain phrase that really stuck out to me. It's a phrase I've said over and over to Dear Son #1~ especially during the past year. Without hubby knowing it, he told the kids this particular phrase during a very tense moment. He instructed them to pray that God would show favor on us & he said:

"I will do everything humanly possible- I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON YOU!"

I think this phrase just became our new family motto: I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

Praise You In This Storm

The 'WOW' factor

Ok...so this is going to take awhile- so sit back & get comfy...

I told you yesterday that we've come across 'enemy fire' with the paperwork/red-tape in trying to get our kids home. When I finally went to bed last night, it didn't look good (in my eyes). There were so many things against us and it could have been one of the worst nights ever- especially because hubby wasn't here by my side! I played scenario after scenario over in my mind, trying to come up with something to 'do.' I prayed, "God, what is going on? What are you doing?" The song 'Praise You In This Storm' came to mind- so I played it over and over, cried, sang & cried some more. I praised Him in the storm. I told Him I would follow Him wherever He led. I told Him I would go 'there' even if I didn't want to. I told Him I would try to be happy if the outcome went the way I didn't want it to. I asked Him to help my heart be ok with His decision. I gave 'it' over and over to Him until I felt the weight leave me. I finally was able to sleep.

At 4am the phone rang. It was hubby needing help with info. on some of the forms he was filling out. I told him I was really struggling and I was having a hard time coping. Hubby told me it was going to be ok, that he had a good feeling about the day. He said that the meeting was 'going to go well.' He just knew it....

It took me about an hour to fall back to sleep. 30 minutes after falling asleep, the kids woke up (still having trouble with the time change). I watched the clock knowing that any moment hubby would be going into his meeting. This was it. The meeting determined if the kids were coming with him or if hubby was coming home alone.

I got a couple of phone calls during that time. I made polite conversation & quickly got off the phone as I was waiting for hubby to call and tell me how the meeting went. 30 minutes before the office closed in Liberia (where hubby was having his meeting), I got an important phone call. This call was orchestrated by God. God came in at the END of the 11th hour and moved His mighty hand! The person on the other end of the line was able to help us. That 'person' called another 'person' who was able to help hubby. God moved in moments- all the way to the other side of the world! I waited to hear the outcome....

5 minutes before the Liberian office closed, I got a return phone call telling me the outcome. I held my breath. The news was good- all 4 children WILL be coming home with hubby. As sure as I am sitting here, God performed yet another miracle today! I will not by any means tell you this has happened by our own doing, it has happened ONLY by the hand of God. We do and will always give Him 100% of the credit for this miracle.

I hung up the phone and I cried. I wept from the depths of my soul. I thanked God in my heart for what He had just done (I couldn't form words at that point)- when I got to the point of actually breathing again- I was able to voice my thankfulness to Him.

I called a close friend and told her what God had just done. I waited for hubby to call me... When he called about 20 minutes later, I told him I knew what happened already. He said, "How do you know?" I simply said, "God just worked a miracle!" We shared our experiences back and forth about what just happened in the last hour, said we loved each other & hung up the phone before his cell phone battery went dead.

Dear daughter #3 came in the room and asked if I had been crying. She looked nervous so I explained to her that I was 'happy-sad.' That's been a term in our house for many years... 'happy-sad' just means that mommy is crying because I'm happy. I might look like I'm sad because I'm crying, but really they are happy tears. I told her that everything is ok and that I was just happy because everything is ok with daddy and that all her brothers and sisters were coming home together with daddy.

It was lunch time & I was so 'fried' that I couldn't even form thoughts to make lunch. I told the kids that God did another awesome thing today that we were going to celebrate God and go have a 'treat lunch.' In our house, treat lunch means a trip to McDonalds or some fast food restaurant. We try very hard not to eat out much (we are trying to eat healthy) so it's a real treat when we do. On the way to town, dear daughter #3 said, "It's so awesome what God did today, it's kinda like that song." She began to sing:
'He's got the whole world in His hands, he's got the whole wide world in His hands....'

That's right, baby-cakes. God has the whole world in His hands & today He showed us once again just how easy it is for Him to work in this world. It feels big to us but NOTHING is too big for God. Amen to that!

What???

Hubby has been in Liberia for just about a week- today is Nov. 5th. It has been a tough day- I went through about 4-5 hours of turmoil. Digging out paperwork, looking over forms- clarifying things for hubby. We should be used to the bumps along in this journey, why did I think the coast was clear? We've encountered MORE difficulties in Liberia with paperwork. Without giving too many details, I can say however that we've come across 'enemy fire.' Whew-- talk about a battle! The details of the day have taken all the wind out of my sail. I'm holding tight to God's promises to me & I'm just left wondering how this is all going to play out.

So, in light of all the craziness- I'm going to make a list for some of the things I am grateful for to keep my priorities straight:

~God has been in this marathon since the beginning and it isn't over yet!
~Hubby made it to Liberia (3 airplanes later) safely & has been safe in country since arriving.
~The children are all together & have been with hubby 24/7 since he arrived. They have been spending time together every day & have been doing lots of bonding during this time!
~The requirements we must complete are attainable and there is no major hang up regarding the children or the possibility of bringing them home. They will come home, it may just take a bit longer.
~Once they're home, they're home. This part of the journey will be behind us and what we've endured will seem like such a short amount of time. Just a blip on the radar....
~Hubby is coming home, we miss him terribly!
~Surely I can find 'something' to do with this spare time.... after all, I've just been sitting around with nothing to do but wait! Yea right.... hehe

The BIG day!

Yesterday I drove hubby to the airport for his flight to Liberia. I just got off the phone with him, he arrived there just 2 short hours ago.

This is my first full day alone without him. Last night was quite lonely without him, I sure did miss our 'talk time' after the kids were in bed. I didn't have enough energy to start a project and work into the wee hours of the night. I was alone with myself and my God- praying, praying, praying and feeling every emotion possible. I felt anxiety, fear, excitement and anticipation...I tried for over an hour to fall asleep.

Today was busy, the rest of this week will be filled with things to do during the days. I was so happy to hear he made it safe and sound- it was quite an experience having him leave us and travel half way around the world. It is something wonderful we must do to get our children home, but it was also hard to see him go without me. I'm not the type of person who waits well- this is another chance for me to grow and learn to be patient! :) The outcome, however, is a HUGE blessing.

I just wanted to share a little of what hubby said to me in our phone conversation. He said the moment when he saw the children for the first time in the airport- the girls came running at him like crazy! They both jumped on him and almost knocked him down! What a wonderful sight that must have been. Our little guy (dear son #2) was quite reserved, he said. But now they can begin to enjoy each other and get to know each other. I will post more on what happens every day as hubby is in Liberia.

I have a busy night ahead of me. It's just about time to get costumes together and head out to our church for the Trick-or-Treat Hay Ride. DD #3 & DD#4 are going to be "farmer girls" & DS #3 is going to be a pirate. We've had a good time getting these costumes together- see the picture below! Have a blessed week...

You'd think it was 20 degrees outside

I had a good laugh this morning! The kids have a daily routine of getting the mail. All 3 of them walk down the driveway together, sometimes all holding hands. Then the 5 year old and the 2 year old stand in the yard about 30 feet from the edge of the road. This is the 'safe zone.' The 7 year old stands at the end of the driveway, looks both ways down the road and then proceeds to the mailbox to get the mail. After returning to the driveway, all 3 children meet up together and proceed to walk back to the house. Every morning, I watch in the window to make sure they stay safe and follow 'procedure.' This daily chore makes them feel important and gives them responsibility (keep the baby away from the road!). **By the way, we don't live on a busy road at all- we're out in the country. I wouldn't let them that close to the road if there was a great possibility for danger...

As I watched and chuckled at them this morning, I noticed their attire. They all had suited up in the garage before going on their daily mission. Each child had mud boots on, warm jackets, hats & mittens. I laughed because it's 45 degrees and rain. We must be acclimated because we would only dress like this (when we lived in Wisconsin) when it was below freezing. Mid-winter, 45 degrees used to be a t-shirt day. That was warm compared to the -10 to -30 degree winter days. Well, here we are in southern Arkansas 'dressed' for the weather. I actually considered building a fire the other night just to get the dampness out of the house.

The fireplace will soon get enough use as we prepare for the heating season. Off to Walmart to buy plastic for the sunroom windows. They leak so badly there's almost a breeze. hehe
I do look forward to autumn and winter. There's just something about a fire in the fireplace and warm, fuzzy clothes. Slippers & blankets and a warm cup of tea or coffee. This weather puts me in the baking spirit- I made 4 pumpkin pies yesterday!

Hubby leaves in 5 days for Liberia. I finished packing one suitcase last night. That particular suitcase holds all 4 children's backpacks with clothes/activities for the trip home as well as gifts to give away to a local orphanage. It was fun picking out their 'coming home outfits' yesterday and packing them up. I have a few last minute things to get for the other suitcase and I can pack that up. I'm trying to be 'ahead of schedule' a few days instead of running behind. The majority of the work was done a month ago when we thought he was leaving. The suitcases have just sat in a corner in our room for the past few weeks, waiting to be re-packed.

Yesterday, I also reflected at the timing of all the children coming home. I was thanking God all day that he is allowing us to be together as a family during this holiday season. Thanksgiving and Christmas are our family favorites. 3 of the Liberian children also have birthdays during this time. We're going to have 2 months of absolute fun- what a better way to bond as a family? 2 months of partying?? I remember my sorrow last year as we prepared for Christmas- half of our family was missing. It was still a wonderful time but when we called Liberia Christmas Day to speak to 'the other half,' my heart was a little sad. This year is a joyous year, we will all be together under one roof. Thank you, God, for your abundant blessings!

Amen!

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several time a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go... Hmm... Where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing. ...

Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.

Makes you stop and think "where are my priorities?

And no dropped calls!

Mighty to Save

Whew! I just watched this on a fellow 'adoptive mama's' blog & I am totally in awe. This sums it up for me, I couldn't say it any better if I tried... The lyrics are amazing, it is not only how we think about our children, but ultimately how Christ sees & relates to us. True love~ absolutely amazing, true love. Enjoy!!

Getting Ready

I am so excited! The time is near- my hubby leaves in 12 days for Liberia. We've actually been happy to wait this extra month- ds#2 will be coming home with everyone else. Things are just about complete, one more passport to obtain and everything is ready. When hubby gets to Liberia, he will just have to obtain the visas for all 4 children and get their exit medical exams done- then it's homeward bound! As of now, hubby- all 4 children- & 'grandma' will be coming home on November 8th.

When I look back at the past year and a half, I am marveled at miracle after miracle God has blessed our family with. Our faith has grown by leaps and bounds, our marriage has strengthened, & our family has grown even closer together. If we weren't ready before, we are ready now. We can (and do) stand united as the bumps, twists & turns come at us- we've learned to stand strong in the storms that blow upon us. We've learned to trust God with EVERYTHING & know with absolute certainty that He will see us through the tough times. Even when we walk through the valleys, we've learned to not bring more suffering upon ourselves. We've learned to walk with confidence and cast all our burdens upon the Lord. Everything until now seems to have been 'practice' for this journey. We've gone through a lot as a family, and we'll probably continue to struggle in the future. We know, however, that it is not a hopeless struggle. We know it is a momentary feeling and there is always a way up. We now have eternal optimism. What a blessing it is to finally find and accept that!

As a mom, I am 100% ready to accept everything that walks through 'this' door. I am ready for anything and everything all 7 of our children bring. I am ready for the blessings, I am ready for the joy & I am even ready for the tough times. I've felt a certain emptiness after 'baby' was born. Something wonderful changed in my heart the day I held her in my arms. At that point, we had no idea we'd be heading towards Liberia. I just knew there was more to life, more to do, more to enjoy, more children I would mother. As we began the adoption process and the 1 child we asked for turned to 4 children, I knew this was 'it.' I knew this is what God made me to be. I knew this was my destiny as a mother. For the first time in my life, I felt extreme peace. I felt peace that I would no longer search for my 'place or destiny.' I felt so blessed by the 3 miracles God placed within my womb- but now I would be blessed again, only from within my heart. I saw something once that explained adopted & biological children this way:
3 children home-grown & 4 children heart-grown

I thought that was a really interesting way to say it. All children 'came' from within, all children are a gift from God, all the children belong here no matter how they got here. As I've been preparing even more this last month, I've found more and more peace with the life change that is about to occur. I've had more time to love on our 3 'babies', more time to talk to them, more time to teach them about what is about to happen in our family.

As I've been praying and thinking about what to post on, this wonderful song came to me. I've posted in the past about songs & how meaningful they are to me. I wanted to share this one with you because it speaks volumes on what we've learned in the last year and a half. May you be blessed by these lyrics~

Praise you in this Storm- Casting Crowns
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Sweet Baby

Our baby (dear daughter #4) just turned 2- along with that mile marker comes two things: potty training & moving to the 'big girl bed.' Last night, she wanted to sleep in her 'big girl bed.' This is the bottom bunk, to which dd#3 sleeps above. As I laid with baby, trying to ease her adjustment into dreamland from a 'foreign' bed- I pretended to sleep. I watched her through peeking eyelids and observed as she looked around the room and tried to settle in.

She ended up going back in the crib after about an hour of laying with her. She just couldn't do it- not just yet. She's trying though... we'll try again when she feels ready. I feel proud that she's going to make this transition soon but very sad that 'the baby' is growing up right before my eyes.

**This section of the post was added to 11/8/07:
Baby fell asleep in her big girl bed last night. She slept there until 4am- she woke up when I entered the room to check DD #3's blood sugar. I tried to lay with her so she could fall back asleep- she wanted back in the crib. She slept there until 8am this morning. I took a picture for daddy cause he missed her first 'half-night' in the big girl bed. Even though her nickname is "Sass-a-Frass" - she sure is cute all passed out and comfy, looking like a big girl!

October 1st

I'm speaking with someone in Liberia just about once a day now. It's either 'grandma,' 'Mother Africa,' or ds#1. I spoke with 'Mother Africa' today and she updated me on all the paperwork info. Her and I are working so closely together to make sure everything is taken care of. She's been working so hard, on our behalf, running just about every day. Our idea of 'running around' is nothing compared to what I hear Africa is like. 'Grandma' tells me that it is about 3 times as difficult to do something in Liberia/Africa as it is here. 'Mother Africa' doesn't own a car (this isn't uncommon) so she either walks or has to pay a taxi/cab everywhere she needs to go.

Many times when I am talking with her, I try to picture where she is and what is going on around her. Sometimes I hear loud talking, cars honking, or rain just pouring down! I can only imagine what she is going through-on our behalf, on our children's behalf! She is truly a woman of God- a woman of strong faith and conviction.

I just received an email from a family who is now in the same position as we were before being connected with 'Mother Africa.' This is a little bit of encouragement I wrote to the mom tonight- this is what I've been 'holding on to' for all these months:

"There was a story I heard one time about a swimmer that was trying to cross a big lake. A thick fog rolled in and he got nervous because he couldn't see the upcoming shoreline anymore. He thought he was just about there, but the more dense the fog got- the more nervous he became about not being able to see the shore. He couldn't take it anymore and turned around. When the fog lifted, he determined that he was just about to the shore when he turned around and went back. That is EXACTLY where we are now. We can't see the hands in front of our faces, but we've GOT to keep walking forward in faith. God is a God of completion, He will finish what He started. We are almost there and can't turn back now!
Take care & keep your faith strong."

'Grandma' is still in Liberia.' It looks like she may be coming home around the time hubby may leave for Liberia (I'm guessing depending on when we purchase the plane ticket and flight availability). I will be happy to hear stories of her trip and stories about our children!

DD #2 (dear daughter #2) wasn't feeling well today. 'Mother Africa' said she gave her some pain reliever and dd#2 seemed to respond well. I pray she will be better soon and it's not too serious. DS#2 (dear son #2) is also trying to take the medication given to him by the MD. 'Mother Africa' reports he is scared of the pills (it's not liquid) and is scared to try and swallow them. I told her to try mashing the pills with the back of a spoon and mixing them in his food. Hopefully that will be better and she can get the meds in him a little easier.

I can't wait until my 'babies' are home safe and sound and I can put some of this nursing education to good use! Atleast a lot of TLC and bedside manner that the Liberian kids aren't used to...

That's it for now, I'll post again soon. I will be so proud when all of you can read these posts-it's hard to write all these things knowing nobody is reading them. I am grateful, however, that I've journaled all these steps thus far. I can't wait to post pictures for you!

All around great day

Today was one of those days, a mile-marker day! First of all, it is dd#4's birthday (dear daughter #4 turns two years old today). Our baby 'dear' isn't so baby anymore. She's getting more and more independent as the days go on~where has my cuddle bug gone? She still has her moments when she puts her little arms around my neck and gives me nose-rubs, gives me kisses & flashes that big grin. We had dinner at church tonight and everyone sang Happy Birthday to her as she ate her strawberry cupcake with pink frosting! She's a ham and loved every minute of it.

What topped off the night is when we arrived home and saw the light on the answering machine blinking. I have been trying to call Liberia all day with no luck- the calls won't even go through. I've been thinking about ds#2 and what is happening- has he been 'reunited' with the other 3 children- has everything gone smoothly? 'Mother Africa' left us the message and it said this: "God bless you, this is *** calling. I want to tell you that *** (ds#2) is here with us. I will talk with you tomorrow, have a blessed evening."

THANK YOU, JESUS! After all that worrying, praying on my knees, crying on my face at the sheer exhaustion of this journey- all 4 children are together in a safe environment and the paperwork is almost done. Today 'Mother Africa' should have picked up the adoption decrees on the 3 oldest children, as well as their birth certificates- now she can apply for their passports. Because ds#2 was brought in last, she will now begin the process on him. If I guess, in 2 weeks we may be able to purchase hubby's plane ticket. This is about the ONLY time during this process that I don't mind waiting. I know that 'grandma' is there now & all 4 children are together under one roof. I feel almost as good as if I or my hubby were there in person. This day has been long awaited. It's such a great (but surreal) feeling when it's finally our turn- seems like this day would have never come.

We give God all the praise for ALL of our blessings today and every day.

Happy Birthday, baby!
Welcome, ds#2- we've been waiting a long time for you to join the crowd!

A mother's love- based on 1 Corinthians 13

If I speak truths from God's Word and train my children in the Lord, but have not God's love flowing from me to them, the words I teach are as noisy as a barking dog, a broken muffler, or a colicky baby at 2 am.

And if I have all manner of wisdom and knowledge in the latest child-rearing techniques, if I have an understanding of child psychology, and if I have subscriptions to every parenting magazine on the market but don't have God's love flowing from me, I am nothing. If I have all the faith I could ever need, so that I could move mountains, keep the house clean, or potty-train a two year old, but do not do it in love, I am nothing.

Even if I leave behind my own dreams and ambitions to raise my children, and even if I stay up for nights on end with sick children, sleepless babies, and mountains of laundry, but complain and murmur about lack of sleep, God's love is not in me, and I am accomplishing nothing.

A loving mother is patient enough to wait for a child who insists on tying her own shoes and buttoning her own coat.

A loving mother is kind to her children even on 3 hours of sleep and is never rude to them.

A loving mother is not jealous or envious of everyone else's children nor will she boastfully exalt her own children above others.

A loving mother models true Christian behavior even when no other adults are watching.

A mother full of God's love doesn't seek her own rights, but demonstrates the servant hood of Christ as she serves her family. Such a mother doesn't resent cutting corners to live on one income, but is grateful to raise her own children.

A loving mother forgets her children's sins as soon as the discipline is over, and never reminds them of their imperfections but encourages her children in good works.

A loving mother doesn't look at her children's rebelliousness as a cute phase but rejoices in seeing her offspring grow in godliness. Only a mother with God's love can bear the day to day tasks of managing a family with zest and joy. She is able to see the potential hidden deep within each of her children and prays that God will shine through them into a dark world. With such a vision clear in her mind, a mother can endure anything.

A loving mother's influence will never fade away. Oh, the children may forget a spotlessly clean house, or perfectly pressed clothes, or even freshly baked cookies, but her children will always carry with them the legacy of God's perfect love. Though all you may see now are stacks of dirty dishes, diapers to change, noses to wipe, and wild toddlers to tame, the spirit in which you tackle these tasks is laying the foundation for your children that has eternal consequences.

There are three things your children will always remember about you:
~Your faith and zeal in how you serve the Lord.
~Your hope in the promises of God's word and how you waited and watched for His return.
~And the Love of God that flowed through you to others.

It is these three that will remain in their minds forever, and the greatest of these is their mother's love.

*written by "Joyful Momma" www.joyfulmomma.org

3 busy days

To catch everyone up:
September 22nd (Saturday), I drove 'grandma' to the airport- she was on her way to Liberia. After leaving the airport, I made a mad dash to NW Tennessee to visit a friend over night (the kids were home with my hubby).

September 23rd (Sunday)- on the way home from Tennessee I got a phone call from hubby informing me that 'grandma' just arrived in Liberia and everyone was together at the Liberian airport. 'Grandma' was in the airport praying & giving her testimony- ds#1 couldn't talk with my hubby long as he wanted to be part of the fun! I was also informed that ds#1 had located a family member for ds#2. GREAT NEWS!

September 24th (Monday), 4am! The phone rings...it's ds#1 telling me that 'grandma' wants to talk with me. All is well (oops- she forgot the time difference...), she's met and loved on 3 of our children. Ds#2 will be 'evacuated' today- as I write this post, he's probably with 'Mother Africa' & 'Grandma' already. PRAISE GOD! Things are moving now... hopefully hubby can leave for Liberia in about 2 weeks- whenever the paperwork is ready and done for ds#2.

p.s. 'Grandma' informed me that dd#1 (dear daughter #1) doesn't like ham- it's a new taste for her ('grandma' brought some along). Ds#1 likes it though!

Privilege

Today is September 21st- 1 day to travel. There have been new developments in the case of ds#2 - very GOOD developments. This is really an answer to prayer! Because of the information we received just a few days ago, we've decided to postpone my hubby's trip to Liberia. The friend ('grandma') who was to travel with him is still leaving tomorrow, I will be bringing her to the airport in the morning. In her extra suitcase, I've enclosed our children's bags of clothes, shoes & extra toiletries. Even if they have to wait 2-3 weeks for dad to arrive, they can still enjoy some things from us while they visit with 'grandma.'

My worry is about 85% gone & I have a renewed peace. This has been a 'trend' with me during this journey. I go through a tough time & then I find peace again- and so on and so on. So, I am happy that today- and for this week- I have absolute peace. I am praying to keep that peace for the rest of this journey!

It's great to hear my children's voices when I call Liberia. The girls especially make me laugh- because they are always laughing. It sounds to me like they are having a giggle-fest (as teenage girls do) & that alone makes me happy. I find an certain innocence in that. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have your best friend 'suddenly' become your forever sister. These girls have been together for 10 years, I'm sure they had become sisters long ago- but now, it is official by name and by family.

Yesterday was court day- the adoptions were complete. Next week Tuesday or Wednesday, 'Mother Africa' will hold our adoption decrees in her hand. There is a sentence in those decrees that read something like this:
"This child is now your own, as to be of your flesh, as if you had given birth to him/her."

I love that line- I can't wait to hold those documents in my hand & see that sentence with my own eyes. What a privilege we've been given by our most gracious and Heavenly Father!

Worry no more

Today is September 19th- 3 days until hubby's flight to Liberia.

Ok...so not only is God good, but he is very sympathetic! I had myself all worked up yesterday & just when I didn't think I would make it any longer- I received a phone call from Liberia. That phone call put me right in my place! It was our ds#1 (dear son #1). He was calling to tell me some news about ds#2- good news! News I had been praying about and waiting to hear...and he said it in just a way that caught my attention. He said it like, "Why were you even worried mom? Why is this SUCH good news? Yea, it's good~ buy why are you crying? Of course God was going to come through- why are you surprised?"

God just showed me that I need to forfeit all of this turmoil I'm putting MYSELF through! After the phone call ended, I thanked God as I felt about 1,000 pounds lifted from my shoulders. I then asked for forgiveness and have vowed to try and not worry anymore. It is needless and a waste of time. God also showed me Psalm 94: 18-19. "When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."

Last night I was tempted to fret about the passports not arriving yet with the Liberian visas. I caught myself, prayed and handed it over to God. In today's mail, the passports arrived with the Liberian visas. The final puzzle pieces are moving into place by the mighty hand of our Father. This puzzle is moving towards completion. Thank you, Father!

Working against my wiring

Today is September 18th, Tuesday- 4 days away from my hubby's departure to Liberia. I'm working against my wiring today- working against my type A personality. It seems to me, because of the way I'm wired, I'm spinning myself in circles. I'm over-thinking things that haven't even happened yet, I've torn just about every room apart in my frantic attempt to clean, every bedroom closet has been re-organized (except my own), all 7 sets of embroidered towels have been rewashed and hung to dry, floors have been scrubbed, garages cleaned & re-organized, etc. I'm running on vapors but my mind is still going strong. I'm wondering if staying busy will help me or just make me more tired. I'm excited, anxious, scared and just plain-old worried.

I know that I'm not helping myself, I know I need to calm down and rest- but how does one 'work against their wiring?' It's like going against the grain- twice as hard as going with the grain. Am I shooting myself in the foot? Burning the candle at both ends? Probably. Can I change my behavior? Probably. Am I struggling? YES!!

But, this journey wouldn't be a journey without struggling. This has been a long road and it seems we're in the last few miles of the marathon. Here's an excerpt of an email I sent to a friend this morning:
"I'm trying so hard to be strong but my energy is very low to continue to fight all of this pressure. I will hang on though, it's really a mother's promise to her children...to be united with my husband to do what needs to be done to get them all home & safe. I will take all the 'abuse' if it means their suffering is lessened."

God tells us not to worry. He says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." *Read Matthew 6: 25-34

I will be trying my best to apply that during the next few days & weeks! I'm going to try and 'marry' type A personality to type B personality. I'm going to give it my best shot- to compromise with myself!

Filling the gap

So what has happened from the time of 'going invisible' until now? Around the time of the August 18th post, I was in the middle of a 40 day no-meat fast. Things with the adoptions seemed to just be going nowhere so I made a sacrifice- a BIG sacrifice. I just prayed to God that He would acknowledge my commitment and have mercy on our Liberian children. I prayed like I have never prayed before in my life- I handed everything over to God, everything I could think of. If I gave it once, I gave it 10 times. I know, once would have been sufficient- did I mention I'm a bit compulsive? I wonder if God laughs at me...He made me this way! He made me with this personality and with this gift mix...did He know I'd be so quirky?

Anyway, the woman I refer to as 'Mother Africa' agreed to take care of our oldest son. In the process of doing so, we set it up for him to attend school & for him to attend church with her. Through our conversations, she offered to go the 'leg work' concerning the adoptions and we discussed the 'avenue' best suited in which to proceed. I prayed, "God, is this it? Is this the way you want us to go? We'll go, God- just lead the way." And away He led. He is still leading, even today. I wonder and sometimes agonize at the final details. My mind knows everything will come out in the end & all the details will fall into place. My heart struggles every day, sometimes by the hour or minute. I'm constantly handing over my worries and my anxiety to God. This is WAY to big for me to handle on my own! I think God may have planned it this way- my walk and my faith has grown leaps and bounds in this last year and a half!

I'm remembering and reminding myself that this is only the beginning. I've been comparing this journey to the planning of a wedding. A lot of our time and effort has been in this planning/waiting stage. Unfortunately, sometimes after the wedding the bride and groom are left standing and looking at each other- asking, "Now what?"

This part of the journey is almost over, then we begin with the 'good stuff.' The important stuff God is calling us to do, parent these children. Teach them, guide them, and LOVE them. The moment after we are introduced, hug & love on each other- real life begins. As we walk out of the airport, hand in hand, we will be The Gustafson family- all 9 of us! A new journey begins.

Sunshine & Rain

Today is September 14, 2007- my hubby leaves in 8 short days for Liberia. Today, I washed sheets & comforters and then made the 4 'big kid' beds, vacuumed corners in the upstairs bedrooms, cleaned & organized the attic & packed the children's suitcase. The children's suitcase holds a backpack for each child w/activities for the plane ride home (as well as a sweatshirt w/an American flag), and 3 sets of clothes for each child. Our friend who is taking care of the children (I'll refer to her as 'Mother Africa') tells me that our oldest son only has a few articles of clothing and the girls just have the clothes they're wearing. So, I've lovingly folded and packed 3 outfits per child, pj's, socks & shoes, under-clothes and toiletries.

I've smelled each article of clothing as I've folded it, labeled each tag with their initials and have handwritten a note to my children to read as they open the suitcase. I've prayed over each child's clothing as well as the suitcase. This is one of the moments I've been waiting for as a mother- for the last year and a half! God is moving... the time is near.

Also included in the children's suitcase is a gift for 'Mother Africa' - a new bible in a leather carrying case. This woman has gone above and beyond a favor. She has become ruthless in this quest- this journey ordained by God. I find myself thanking her during every phone call- she corrects me every time and says, "We thank God." She's right. We thank God- we praise God! God is truly making a way where there was no way... He is arriving right on time... just where He intends to be. What glory He deserves!

Two days ago, ds #1 (dear son #1) called. I called him back so he wouldn't use his minutes...but, I couldn't hear his voice. Instead, I heard rain. I heard the sound of the rain hitting the ground and the drops falling from the roof of the house. After I realized my 'ds' couldn't hear me, I sat for a moment before I hung up the phone to redial. I sat and listened to the African rain. That sound alone was a precious gift to me. Half way around the world, sits 4 children waiting on God to bring them new parents. The prayer they've agonized over for 10 years- the promise they've held on to & have trusted God to follow through with- is just around the corner. The fulfillment is near...

I redialed the phone and spoke with my 'ds #1'. He didn't have any idea that I could hear the rain in the previous phone call & not his voice- he just thought the call didn't go through. I finished my conversation with him & spoke with the other children. Told them I loved them & that daddy would be there very soon. After I hung up the phone, I thanked God for these precious children- these precious gifts- and I thanked Him for the rain.

Today as I drove through town, I glanced up at the sky and as the sun set- I noticed it was behind a cloud with its rays shining through the cloud. Truly a Godly moment for me. What a beautiful sight- I love seeing that. We go through the majority of our days not thinking about the sun, or even seeing its rays for that matter. What beauty we find in a rainbow- the combination of water & sun. As I saw the long, beautiful rays I thought about the pictures I used to draw as a child- pictures of the sun and big, long beautiful rays. Tonight, I thanked God for the beauty all around us and I thanked him for the sun. The sun that gives us light & warmth. The sun that comes up every morning without fail, the sun that peeks in my curtains to welcome me to another day & the sun that helps to grow the food we eat every day.

Thank you, God, for the rain and for the sun.

Psalm 37 & 'friend'

If you know me, you know that I tend to worry. I think about things that are so minimal to the 'average Joe.' I'm very precise and think a lot about details.

This journey has about made smoke come out of my ears- the wheels are always turning... I've prayed and prayed, especially about 'ds #2' as his paperwork isn't complete yet. The things I think about are crazy, what if...what if...what if... We've purchased everyone's plane tickets in complete blind faith- we're moving ahead without complete 'earthly' confirmation. A move that even I think is crazy! But, we're holding tight onto the promise God made and we're 'preparing the field' for God to bring forth the harvest. We trust God and we're stepping WAY out- now if I could keep my mind from wandering.

God brought me these two things during the week of September 2-8, 2007. Maybe I should take the hint and chill out! :)

Psalm 37:3-7
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this; He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him"

WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS
What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge; take it to the Lord in prayer. Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer! In his arms he'll take and shield thee; thou wilt find a solace there.

I hear you, God- thanks for the reminder!